I'm struggling today with finding time to do it all. You know...be a good friend, mother, wife, memory maker, etc. It seems like life is flying by, and I'm not living it so much as just making it through. We went today and celebrated the life of an amazing friend, Eric Fox. This last statement is definitely NOT something that can be said about Eric. He didn't just live his own life to the fullest, he touched as many lives along the way as possible and encouraged everyone he met to live their lives to the max too. Someone said today at his funeral that he probably touched more lives in his 40 years on this earth than most people do in 80. So very true. I'm a better person for having known him and am blessed to call he and Lori our friends.
So, I guess, nothing like the death of an amazing man to make you think really hard about your own life. Dave and I talked about this some yesterday, and we're both feeling the same about this. Feeling like we're just going through the motions of life and we're so busy yet we aren't accomplishing anything. I know that many people in our similar place in life feel much the same way as we do. So busy with raising the kids, paying the bills, and doing all the day-to-day "stuff" that life entails, that you lose your passion and focus. But when you see someone like Eric who seemed to make an amazing difference in SO many people's lives, you certainly begin to evaluate your own priorities and your own level of passion & purpose. You don't want another day to go by without making a difference too.
How do we do this? How do we live a balanced, prioritized, purposeful, passionate life in our short time here on this earth? That's what I'm contemplating today.
I know one thing that hinders me in this area: over-analyzing too many things. My tendency to be an analyzer often means that my "thought life" slows me down...or just downright stops me right in my tracks. I think the #1 area I over-analyze is the relationships in my life. I'm a quiet person by nature, but around those I really know I can be quite outgoing. To be outgoing in large groups though, wears me out. I like to be social, but I think the over-analyzing of it all is what stresses me out. Yet, I want to be the little social butterfly and be included in everything. And, even though my schedule is busy and the thought of too much socializing wears on me, I still get upset when I'm not getting included in things or the phone's not ringing. Thankfully, I have a few close friends who are great at making me feel loved. I'm just one of those people who wishes I could be friends with everyone and included in everything. I guess I am not good at social boundaries...which is probably why God has kind of handled that for me. He keeps my social calendar to a tolerable level of busyness (as much as I sometimes try to make it busier on my own...and then wonder why I'm over-stressed and worn down...duh). Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of great people in my life that I'd consider to be my "friends." I just too often feel left out of those close inner-circle-friendships. And, unfortunately, Facebook has NOT helped me out in this area. I definitely have to limit how much time I spend online because too much reading of other people's posts can throw my social insecurity into the craziest of a crazy cycle. Not good. So, you get the gist of this one. Desiring those close friendships, but too often feeling like a loner. Dave feels the same way, which is probably why this one area is so often a struggle.
Then the other thing that I know is a big stumbling block for me on the road to balanced/purposeful living is not following through on disciplines that I know would help me. I feel like the Apostle Paul in the book of Romans where he says:
Romans 7:15-20
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
Why does that happen so easily? I hate it when I know what I should be doing, I just choose not to. I always hear Dr. Phil's voice in my head when I get on myself for doing the same things and continuing to NOT get the results I want: "How's that workin' for ya?!". Seriously. You'd think I would have learned better by now.
So what's it going to take? What's it going to take for me to live each day without regrets? Live each day full of the passion and purpose that only God can give. Be the best I can be on each day...and not live with guilt for the things I didn't do as I'd hoped. That's what I want! No more guilt. No more over-analyzing the why's and what if's. No more just wishing for things to be a certain way. I want to be like the one quote I've seen: "I want to be one of those women that when Satan sees my feet hit the floor every morning, he says: Oh No!!" (That's not exactly what the quote says - I had to modify it for sensitive ears.) I want to NOT have the same conversation a year from now that Dave and I had yesterday. No more wishing for balance and purpose and passion. Time to make it happen.
What's it going to take for me? It's going to take the discipline of morning devotions and exercise time. It's going to mean taking EVERY thought captive and filtering it through the truth of Philippians 4:8 (thinking only on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy). It's going to take choosing each day to do my best to glorify God in all I think, say and do. And even the simple truth of counting my many blessings each day, and not allowing the enemy to make me think I'm somehow lacking or missing out on something. Fact is...it's not going to be easy or without effort. But it's going to be unbelievably worth it.
One day at a time. All with the power of God. All with His purpose. Thanks again Eric for setting such an amazing example on how to live your life. You've inspired me to do a better job on how I'm living mine.
So, I guess, nothing like the death of an amazing man to make you think really hard about your own life. Dave and I talked about this some yesterday, and we're both feeling the same about this. Feeling like we're just going through the motions of life and we're so busy yet we aren't accomplishing anything. I know that many people in our similar place in life feel much the same way as we do. So busy with raising the kids, paying the bills, and doing all the day-to-day "stuff" that life entails, that you lose your passion and focus. But when you see someone like Eric who seemed to make an amazing difference in SO many people's lives, you certainly begin to evaluate your own priorities and your own level of passion & purpose. You don't want another day to go by without making a difference too.
How do we do this? How do we live a balanced, prioritized, purposeful, passionate life in our short time here on this earth? That's what I'm contemplating today.
I know one thing that hinders me in this area: over-analyzing too many things. My tendency to be an analyzer often means that my "thought life" slows me down...or just downright stops me right in my tracks. I think the #1 area I over-analyze is the relationships in my life. I'm a quiet person by nature, but around those I really know I can be quite outgoing. To be outgoing in large groups though, wears me out. I like to be social, but I think the over-analyzing of it all is what stresses me out. Yet, I want to be the little social butterfly and be included in everything. And, even though my schedule is busy and the thought of too much socializing wears on me, I still get upset when I'm not getting included in things or the phone's not ringing. Thankfully, I have a few close friends who are great at making me feel loved. I'm just one of those people who wishes I could be friends with everyone and included in everything. I guess I am not good at social boundaries...which is probably why God has kind of handled that for me. He keeps my social calendar to a tolerable level of busyness (as much as I sometimes try to make it busier on my own...and then wonder why I'm over-stressed and worn down...duh). Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of great people in my life that I'd consider to be my "friends." I just too often feel left out of those close inner-circle-friendships. And, unfortunately, Facebook has NOT helped me out in this area. I definitely have to limit how much time I spend online because too much reading of other people's posts can throw my social insecurity into the craziest of a crazy cycle. Not good. So, you get the gist of this one. Desiring those close friendships, but too often feeling like a loner. Dave feels the same way, which is probably why this one area is so often a struggle.
Then the other thing that I know is a big stumbling block for me on the road to balanced/purposeful living is not following through on disciplines that I know would help me. I feel like the Apostle Paul in the book of Romans where he says:
Romans 7:15-20
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."
Why does that happen so easily? I hate it when I know what I should be doing, I just choose not to. I always hear Dr. Phil's voice in my head when I get on myself for doing the same things and continuing to NOT get the results I want: "How's that workin' for ya?!". Seriously. You'd think I would have learned better by now.
So what's it going to take? What's it going to take for me to live each day without regrets? Live each day full of the passion and purpose that only God can give. Be the best I can be on each day...and not live with guilt for the things I didn't do as I'd hoped. That's what I want! No more guilt. No more over-analyzing the why's and what if's. No more just wishing for things to be a certain way. I want to be like the one quote I've seen: "I want to be one of those women that when Satan sees my feet hit the floor every morning, he says: Oh No!!" (That's not exactly what the quote says - I had to modify it for sensitive ears.) I want to NOT have the same conversation a year from now that Dave and I had yesterday. No more wishing for balance and purpose and passion. Time to make it happen.
What's it going to take for me? It's going to take the discipline of morning devotions and exercise time. It's going to mean taking EVERY thought captive and filtering it through the truth of Philippians 4:8 (thinking only on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy). It's going to take choosing each day to do my best to glorify God in all I think, say and do. And even the simple truth of counting my many blessings each day, and not allowing the enemy to make me think I'm somehow lacking or missing out on something. Fact is...it's not going to be easy or without effort. But it's going to be unbelievably worth it.
One day at a time. All with the power of God. All with His purpose. Thanks again Eric for setting such an amazing example on how to live your life. You've inspired me to do a better job on how I'm living mine.
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