Motherhood Moments

Living in the midst of tremendous blessings...yet still occasionally struggling with jealousy? Yep. I go there sometimes. It's almost comical to me that - at age 42 - I can still struggle with many of the same insecurities that plagued me as a child. You know that feeling? The frustrating part of it all is that I don't ever want to be ungrateful for the MANY blessings in my life. Yet sometimes...even though I'm loving being a homeschool Mom and having my days filled with all that entails - I still have those brief moments of wondering "When do I get to pursue MY dreams?". Yuck. That sounds so immature. I suppose this is what many of us feel when we get to be in our 40's. We remember all those dreams we had as a child and begin to feel badly for those left unfulfilled.  Here were my biggest childhood dreams:  Become a wife/mom (check!) Be famous :-) You'll notice that my "be famous" part was pretty non-specific. The mode to that &quo

I'm feeling left out. Surprisingly, what I'm "left out" of is a huge church split. Just why I'm feeling left out doesn't make total sense to me - but I think I'm figuring it out. Let me share my heart... Three years ago, after God opened our eyes to many things (primarily the warning signs of a manipulative/controlling pastor) we left our church home of nearly 9 years. It was a hard decision. One that we've shed many tears over. In fact - one that my heart still isn't totally healed from. It hurt on many levels - not the least of which was the ostracizing we felt from the people we used to call friends. The way we were treated was nearly identical to every other member who had chosen to leave before us - as well as nearly everyone who has chosen to leave since.The long and short of it was that if you chose to leave the church body, you were no longer allowed to be friends with anyone who was still at the church (per the pastor). None of our chu

"Extra! Extra! Hear all about it!" This feels like one of those kinds of moments. Partially because my posts on here have become so infrequent. And, partially because this might just be something you want to know too! Ready for it? (I'm sure you are waiting in eager anticipation.) Here it is: Our imperfect, stress-filled lives are what life's all about - and they're the perfect time to praise God to the utmost! Confused as to why I've just now come to this conclusion? Allow me to explain. I've been waking up every day with this foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. Nothing huge is causing it - just a whole bunch of smaller things (all adding up to one big mole-ish mountain). Well, I've been mistaking this feeling for something that I need to devote energy to "overcoming." Something that I needed to ponder over, pray over, allow my mood to become sullen over - you get the idea. All in all, it's been adding up to me being i

I can't believe it's been this long since I've written on here! Well, really I can. I was waiting for life to slow down &/or for me to have something to say. Life has slowed down just enough this week that I can feel it's OK to take a few minutes to write. And God has been laying a few things on my heart lately that I wanted to share - with all 3 of you who actually read this blog! So here goes... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about following our passions in life. I'm actually reading a new book by Jon Acuff called Start. . It's about: punching fear in the face, escaping average, and doing work that matters. He probably didn't expect a stay-at-home homeschooling Mom to be reading it, but I'm here to say it's a great read. It's about going from "average" to "awesome". About living your life with such passion, that you don't look back in a few years and wonder what ever happened to your dreams. It's