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Oops!

Boy, I was sure reeling from that "go all month, work really hard, don't lose a single pound" situation. I wasn't exactly doing the best job of letting it go. I, instead, was hanging on to all the hard feelings associated with that dreaded number on the scale. I mean...REALLY hanging on. (My self-talk since Tuesday's weigh-in haven't exactly been the most uplifting of times.) Then, last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I had a little moment. A moment where I remembered a phone conversation with a friend on January 7th. That friend had asked me how much weight I had lost to that point and I said 21 pounds (and she proceeded to say that she had found it for me...much to her dismay). Hmmm....21 pounds on January 7th? Wait a minute. I must have mis-read my weight loss chart on Tuesday! Could it be?!

So this morning, that was one of the first things I did. And to my wonderful joy I find...I was looking at the wrong number on the chart when I thought I had gone an entire month without losing a SINGLE pound! Oops! Actually? I lost 5 pounds! Still not where my "goal" was (which is the number I was looking at for January). But, hey...5 pounds is a WHOLE lot easier on my mental state than ZERO. I'll gladly take it.

You may not care one iota what my scale says. But I just had to set the record straight that I, in fact, DID lose a little weight after all my hard work in January. I mean, I wasn't perfect. But I worked hard! My soul needed to see that number on the scale head in the right direction. But I sure learned a few things about my emotional progress on this journey. I have a long way to go and a lot more bad scripts to replace. Lysa talks about covering up the number on the scale with the word "Peace". I want to know my progress too badly to do that. But, then again, after the mental funk I've been in the last two days because of that stupid number...maybe I should!

Oh, but you know what my wonderful husband reminded me of last night? (I was having a mini-emotional meltdown and at least part of it was brought on by that stupid scale!) He reminded me of how far I've come. Regardless what that scale shows, it's obvious that I'm heading in the right direction (and he listed a few specific things). What a blessing to have a man who rejoices in each of my weight loss successes, but doesn't scold me for any of my mistakes. Hmmm...know who that reminds me of? Bet you do. It's a precious thing when our husbands are godly men. SO thankful for that man of mine.

It's time to get some schoolwork done and then get all bundled up in my snow gear this afternoon. This thinner version of myself is really looking forward to playing outside in the snow & sun with my kiddos. It feels good to actually want to do that. Another piece of progress.

Thanks for listening to me today! Have a great weekend...

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