How Did We Get Here?!

It still feels like this is someone else's reality that I'm living, but...here we are! 2/3 of our children are now living on campus at the University of Toledo. 😮 How did we get here so quickly?! Seems like we were just in the middle of training wheels and the Tooth Fairy and Little League. It is really kind of a cruel parenting joke: just when you really love having your kids around (because they're so interesting to talk to and helpful, etc.)...they move out! I'm excited for this new chapter in their lives. But honestly really sad about it too.

I am not sure which is harder - them learning how to navigate life independently or me letting them. So far, I think it's the latter. 

Besides sending our twins off to Toledo, we have also added a foreign exchange student from Denmark to our family this school year. Liva is a phenomenal addition to our family! She seems to be thoroughly enjoying both Lowell School and her time here with us. I pray that this is a great year for her AND us! 

So as I wake up every morning this week, I'm always just one sappy thought away from shedding a few tears. I thought that maybe this morning, a new blog post was just the ticket to help me wrap my head around our new normal. 

Last Thursday, we got Liva on the bus for school and then hit the road to move Mikayla & Abby into UT. I had been so busy navigating Liva's arrival (her flight was cancelled two times!) and getting her ready for her school year PLUS getting Mikayla prepped to move out...that when the actual move-in day arrived, I think I was just numb to it all. (And already exhausted.)

Moving Mac into UT was WAY different than when we moved Luke in on June 23rd. For him, there were just a few athletes moving in. So campus was very quiet. And his coaches were waiting for his arrival with blue bins ready to go. We got him moved in and settled (even with a trip to Target) in less than 3 hours. But last Thursday's move-in was a COMPLETELY different story. In fact, as we pulled onto campus, Luke's comment was: "Why are all these people on my campus?!". Yeah. Fall move-in was CRAZY! We arrived on campus at 10:15. I think Mikayla and the Fosters had their vehicles in the line at Parks for about 2 hours. During that time, Luke grabbed some snacks from the locker room & scootered them up to the girls. 😃 Dave and I took Hannah & Rachel to get some smoothies for everyone. And we got a few things squared away in Luke's room too. Once they reached the front of the line, it took 4 bins PLUS Luke carrying their frig to get everything into their 10th floor room. I honestly didn't think they were going to be able to fit everything in. But after a chaotic/messy start, they got it looking great & feeling like home! 

After a quick walk to Savage Arena to meet back up with Luke & Dave (Luke had done a workout with Coach Offutt), we showed the Fosters Luke's room, grabbed some food, snapped a few more pictures, prayed over the kids and then headed home. I think we left campus about 3:30. It was a jam-packed, hectic 5 hours!!!

Luke didn't head back to campus until Saturday. So my new reality didn't really hit until Sunday. Today is Wednesday, and I'm still wrapping my brain around it. 

Life has been our normal hectic at home still too though. Hannah's finishing up Driver's Ed, so that makes for a very crazy 3 weeks. And Liva's doing Cross Country, so that means she doesn't take the bus home & I'm adding all her meets to our fall calendar. Oh, and I have to prep for teaching a writing class this year & getting Hannah all on-board with her new school routine (that's a whole other story). 

I know that all this change is part of life. It's exciting. It's just how God has planned. 

But it's still hard. 

I know that life as I knew it - will probably never happen again. Luke's basketball team commitments means he won't be home all that often going forward. I know Mikayla will get to be home quite often on school breaks & holidays. But I also know I have to be very flexible and not expect them to be here for every special event. 

One thought that has been very comforting to me recently is just how I see God's hand in SO much of our whole family's UT experience. It was more than just how He orchestrated Luke's commitment. It's also been in the way He's handled every minute detail of Mikayla & Abby's UT journey. From them choosing UT in the first place to them "randomly" getting placed in the same English class...to them each finding an on-campus job before they even moved into their dorm! 

Already this week, my kids have each had a stressful scenario that they've had to work through - and I was (somewhat by accident) aware of both scenarios right as they were happening. So, here I am, almost 3 hours away, hearing the stress & frustration in my kids' voices...and I can't do a darn thing about it. THAT, in case you don't already know this first-hand, is THE hardest part about parenting. Knowing your kids are dealing with something and the only thing you can do is pray. Oh sure, offer a few words of encouragement. But really - from 3 hours away - the ONLY thing I could do was pray.

And, at first, (I hate to even have to admit this) realizing all I could do was pray was like a sucker punch to the gut. But then I really thought about it. Praying to the God who created the Universe. The God who created my children and breathed life into them before I even knew they existed. The God who loves my kids more than I ever could (and more perfectly). That God? Praying to Him is THE BEST THING I CAN EVER DO! Why in the world would I ever think "all" I can do is "just" pray?! JUST PRAY? 

God has been kind of screaming this reality into me the last couple of days (hence the all caps). Do you need to hear this too? Maybe not about kids moving away to college, but about some other stressful situation you're walking through? 

Let us NEVER think praying is a cop-out. Or a "less than" choice. 

Us thinking that means we don't fully get WHO it is we're praying to. If God can part the Red Sea, don't you think He can help our kids navigate their first week of classes on campus? If He can bring Lazarus back to life, don't you think He is capable of helping our kids meet friends and get adjusted to living away from home? God is the same today as He was then and He'll be the same forevermore. WE limit Him by our lack of faith. But HE isn't limited by anything. AND He cares about us enough to want to be a part of even the tiniest of details of our lives. He truly does! 

So, I think I get it now. The adjustment of parenting from life with kids IN the house to life with kids OUT of the house - it's basically transitioning from "doing" to "praying". Not that I wasn't praying for my kids when they were under my roof. But now - now that's THE thing I can do for them every day. And one of the things I pray for daily? It's their own personal walk with Christ. I pray that God will grab ahold of their hearts like never before. That He will be THE loudest voice ever when they're faced with making tough choices. Or even not so tough ones. I know that just because we pray - that doesn't mean life won't be hard. Or unfair. Or scary. It just means they are never alone when that happens. And as much as I love Jesus...I want my kids to love Him more. To choose Him daily. 

And so I continue to remind myself of ALL the exciting times ahead for the twins. This new normal means I might miss them more, but it also means they're doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing. We didn't decide to have kids so that we could keep them at home with us forever. I LOVE the people they are. And I CAN'T WAIT to see where God leads them. I just hope they post enough stuff on social media or call/text me enough to keep me in the loop of all the fun they're having. 

That, my friends, is the best gift our college students can give their Mamas. KEEP US IN THE LOOP! 

😂😍💖